I remember ice helped but i dont have to ability to do that im at work right now i cant even think staight. He used to help by just talking to me and distracting me but hes at work and can do that right know. I feel like i cant breath i remember what it was like to cut part of me never forgot . I know it weird to say but i remember the sound of my skin ripping apart under the blade . I remember feeling like i was on a high when i cut . Im so scard if i cut know id do more damage and want more i dont have anything thats helped me in the past i used to usw rubber bands ice red pen or marker anything that wasnt a blade
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