[bitomato]

I don't feel able to read all of the OP or responses today. However, as I "ordered" my doctor to screen me/ diagnose me with a binge ED I understand your frustration. Because even with the diagnosis no one in my mental health team was comfortable to treat it and I got referred back to my physical health team. Fortunately, I had a dietician/ nutritionist because of my diabetes and that is their specialty. They also had so harsh words to the same thing you said.
"Who said you are overweight?" By who and what standards?

I am starting to look at how mobile I am, how I manage my pain, and what my relationship with food is. I think it is important with a chronic illness (I am not in a wheelchair yet) to be healthy. I currently have very little food in my house, and it feels like both a fake sense of control and fake sense of accomplishment- but it is also deluded that this is good for me.

I am not going to put too much details here as the rules on RYL still confuse me, but definitely having a dietician has educated me through some of the real false beliefs I have- I go once every couple of months and work on a few skills.

Be forgiving to yourself. I think my priority would be to assure that I am doing transfers into and out of the wheelchair correctly and that I don't spend so much time in it without the correct pressure cushions etc. Congrats on where you have managed to adapt to your fatigue. Keep on keeping on.