Thank you for sharing Soft Kitty.
I'm so glad you have a good crisis team you can rely on. The closure of the ward sounds a bit frightening, especially for those who need it.
I agree that risk needs to be talked about. At the moment, I'm afraid of how certain people would react if I said, "I didn't feel safe yesterday. What do I do when I am in the dark and can't see straight?" or "I don't feel you are listening to how unsafe I was yesterday." (I'm trying to put the words together here). I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling at times because I fall into a dark void. Calling them when I'm in this 'dark void' can be a huge risk because I don't know who I'll get on the phone. I've had arguments with them before as they want to know if I've taken my PRN and that I should just wait it out.
I don't want to cause alarm with how sick I can get which is why I just sit and answer their questions and they go. When their questions are good I feel 'held' and supported.
Thanks for listening.