I'm sorry your experience has been generally unhelpful. I think a lot of people would resonate, and I think the issues you raise are very pertinent and reasonable things to suggest.
My understanding is that there's less explicit talk about risk (especially where suicide is concerned) because evidence suggests that it makes things worse. While I can understand that it's more important to talk about feelings and thoughts, I don't think it's helpful to make risk 'untalkable about'. I might be wrong, but I don't think it's useful to not at least be asked those questions, even if it's not the focus.
My experience with the crisis team is generally helpful, but I think my team on the whole is quite compassionate and treats people as people. They are good at both taking through difficulties and offering suggestions for self-care/distraction in the short-term. They're going to have to be very competent as they're closing the ward in my area with a view to avoiding admission where humanly possible (I have mixed feelings about this, but like you, would much prefer to avoid hospital).