[Stellata]

Am I ill really? I'm prone to psychosis under stress. And I'm stressed. I'm having very vivid dreams, hopefully not psychosis related. There is some paranoia there though.

I'm low, flat and blank and empty pretty much all the time. I can't seem to shift out of this and actually feel anything apart from worry.

Mum has been diagnosed with Diabetes and is now severely restricting her food intake of certain things. I'm in recovery from Anorexia, and so this is very hard for me. I feel greedy and large and indulgent. I'm also worried about my Mum.

This week I am due to hear back about my volunteering application. This is good, but also stressful for me.

Plus the fact I have ongoing worries related to my housing.

My therapist says I am still vulnerable, and she's right. It might not be the right time to change my medication/anti-psychotic that is, but the pacing and restlessness from the current one is so disabling and time consuming and if I am to have a life something has to give.

If you can find any words of support for me in relation to any of the above I would be most grateful. Thank you.