im so sorry to hear how you feel huni xx
have you tried telling him that its very difficult and is not going to change overnight etc etc....?
understanding is probally the 1st thing and the second is for him to stand by you, help you through your struggles.
i know its probally very hard for both of you. but i know you will if you really try get through the graphic feelings that you have and it will probally be easier with people to help if there is anyone ele that can.
please re-consider getting professional support you dont know until you try, after reading your message im worried about you. im sorry if this doesnt help coz im feeling really low at the moment so probs dont even make sense.
pm me if u need anything
much love and take care