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Old 08-08-2018, 08:48 PM   #53183
yoyogirl
 
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:

I am finding it hard to grasp why o feel so glad and relieved that I am not turning up to any groups activities and not turning up to anything I feel great. Indoors girl .
Yet when I do go I feel awful, mentally it feels like too much despite it fantastic at concert venues of big crowds that I cope with. I can cope with talking to people face to face about a product service my bank for instance. Yet in social situations like meeting group in the library who I have seen a thousand times in the community is impossible at times and I can go to a college and I am going to lecturers seminars that kinda thing but when it comes to social interactions in more laid back or natter itís impossible.
I donít understand why I even struggle in chat rooms even though I have used since I was 13-14yewts old or in kik groups.
I just donít understand why I feel so ***** about it
But I am finding that with meds I am on for the fibromyalgia that itís helping the physical side anxiety now.
I am not scared of the symptoms or having a panic attack
Itís the groups settings that scare the living shits out me.



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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