Thanks everyone.
It's hard to just keep going but I don't really have much choice. I'm finding it difficult to keep myself occupied, things are either too stimulating or not stimulating enough, or too hard to focus on, or make me anxious, etc.
I saw my CPN today and there are still no beds, she's off next week and has planned for another nurse to continue with the calls to see about the bed situation. I'm really hoping I don't have to get through the weekend at home. Although hospital will probably be extra shit too, I'll just be transferring myself to another environment. There is no way to win. My CPN said I'm definitely getting a bed anyway.
I managed to go to Tesco for cat stuff. Also had to get some small junk food type things because I keep making simple meals/toast/cereal and then just chucking them in the bin. I don't really want to be eating junk but my CPN said to try that rather than eating nothing. I'm glad there are self service checkouts at Tesco so I wasn't judged for my unhealthy purchases.
A cat sitting lady should be able to check in on my cats but at the moment my neighbours seem to be away and they have my spare key. I'm not keen on leaving my cats, they are quite clingy and needy with just me rather than other people. I hope they will be ok. Also my house isn't the cleanest at the moment so it will be embarrassing having someone come in, but maybe I can slowly work through cleaning stuff.
This life is seriously pointless. I will likely get through this crisis point but every day is such a struggle anyway and then the crisis points come back. There is no way out.
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