Thanks Beckie, that's kind of you. I have considered copying stuff directly from here and showing it to people in its raw form but then I look back at it and don't think it explains anything either.
The evenings are so horrible and I hate them. I did end up burning again last night and considered going out to attempt suicide after doing some research. I thought about phoning crisis first but felt too anxious and also felt like they would be busy. I did speak to someone when they phoned me but I don't think they understood how awful things are and mostly just spoke about general stuff. It's my fault that I can't get my pain across to people.
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