Have you been able to talk to anyone about these thoughts?
The emotional self harm sounds difficult, I wonder if you have thought about what appeals about it? Sorry if that is crap phrasing. Are there any barriers you could put in place? Removing the triggering songs from playlists for example. Sometimes I have to be a bit strict with what music I have available too me because it can easily enhance the mood I'm in for the worse. You are a wonderful person and you deserve to be able to listen to or watch things that bring you peace or joy or happiness.
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