BPD is from the american diagnostic and statistical manual for mental disorders, whereas emotional unstable personality disorder is from the global/european ICD (currently ICD-10) but they're pretty much the same thing.
most helpful book i know is marsha linehan's skills training manual for treating borderline personality disorder which is one of two key books for dialectic behavoural therapy (the advanced, more helpful version of cognitive behavioural therapy for BPD).
thing to remember is that BPD isn't just one thing. in really basic terms, there's type one which is the clingy type and type two which is the person that is drawn to and has to push away people because its too much to bear. the medics are refining the whole personality disorder thing though, and an emerging characteristic is a whole type of BPD that originates from childhood trauma. and in 2012 they're bringing out DSM-V which is reportedly going to disband the whole personality disorder thing (of which there are 11 types) in favour of a completely different way of categorising symptoms.
most helpful thing? mindfulness. look it up. do it. use it. live it. its one of the latest buzz words in the nhs and they're slowly cottoning on (the private sector is one heck more fast on its feet and use it readily, with good results)
more than anything else, become an intelligent customer when it comes to any mental health professional and read up so you know what they're offering, what they're not offering, whether its a budget issue or a local skillbase lack, and to ask the necessary questions about referral for appropriate treatment. the official label means you've more access to treatment pathways. ALWAYS claim disability living allowance. its your right
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