I wonder whether getting your partner to sit down with someone impartial to go through her money issues, maybe the citizen advice bureau or money advice service?
It is difficult when the two parties in a relationship have different earnings and spending habits. I think you really need to sit down and decide what you will count as joint spending and what is separate. Does your uni do any courses on managing finances?
I am still a student where as my partner has a job so our earnings are quite dramatically different. So we both pay into a joint account and we live from that - bills, rent etc and any joint leisure activities - day out or going to the pub etc and everything else is our responsibility and comes out of our personal accounts. Do you think something like this might help you?
Is she getting any support at the moment? It must be difficult to be fearful of bringing things up in case she reacts in a dangerous manner and it wouldn't be surprising if this started to affect the longer term health of the relationship as it may start to create a divide of you vs her rather than us and we. (hope that makes sense and i haven't caused offence I only list is as a potential possibility not an inevitability)
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