[Netsirkylime]

Okay I don't know if this is in the right spot.... but I need some advice.

Lately I've been afraid about losing my virginity... and like... I don't want to loose it to someone that I love, because if I give it to someone with my heart attached to it and it doesn't work out then I'm going to be completely ruined... I can't handle that... I'd feel rejected and disgusting and all this stuff... so I thought, why not have sex with someone I care about but not in a romantic way? and that lead me to my friend Austin. We've had an on and off physical relationship, nothing emotional tho, so he's like perfect... but he dated my best friend, and she absolutely hates him not, says he's a disgusting man whore... but i just can't think of him that way, I think about him as my friend Austin, who has been my friend since second grade. It would be no strings attached sex, and then I'd have a huuuuge burden lifted off of my shoulders...

but my friend Kay found out, she's my best friend who dated him, but anyways, she found out and she's mad about it.... because she thinks he's a gross asshole and she is all about waiting until marriage. I can't do that, I don't want to loose it to someone with emotional attachments...

is this a totally crazy thought? Is my logic completely twisted?