I probably need to go to the shop at some point in the week so that will get me out. I can't really think of anything I'd enjoy... If I do too much I just get knackered and although I whine about being lonely, being around people too much isn't a good thing. I want to try and get some gardening done, if I'm in the right frame of mine I do enjoy that, although it is an overwhelming task.
I do want to call Bupa tomorrow. You're right, the anticipation is worse but knowing that doesn't make it any easier unfortunately. I am going to try to get it done this week... because I actually have to now. I can't ignore this much longer.
Things can be better... but that is a scary prospect on its own. I don't think I've ever had a time where things have felt "better" or even ok. Stuff masked it for a long time but really things have never been ok as far as I can remember... so imagining things any differently is hard to comprehend.
I know I should go to my doctor but I really don't feel capable of doing that.
I like the idea of writing a letter to my friend without sending it. I might try that.
Thank you for the reply. Your advice is always so well thought out and sensible. I really do appreciate that.
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