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one_step_closer · 22-09-2019, 06:42 PM

I can't deal with life and worry about the future. Something hugely awful is bound to happen. Something 'normally' awful is bound to happen and I can't even deal with that. I need to be brave enough to face death. I don't want the courage to deal with life, I want a quick exit through death. What if I can't have that? Life is just torture. How can life ever be made bearable? If only I could cut and overdose like I used to. My eyes hurt right now but I think I will do some proper research and make a just in case suicide plan when my eyes have recovered enough to do more screen things.

22-09-2019, 06:42 PM	#1661
one_step_closer The Shadow of the Day Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Scotland	I can't deal with life and worry about the future. Something hugely awful is bound to happen. Something 'normally' awful is bound to happen and I can't even deal with that. I need to be brave enough to face death. I don't want the courage to deal with life, I want a quick exit through death. What if I can't have that? Life is just torture. How can life ever be made bearable? If only I could cut and overdose like I used to. My eyes hurt right now but I think I will do some proper research and make a just in case suicide plan when my eyes have recovered enough to do more screen things.
	I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass. You didn't come this far just to come this far.