I don't know. I'm struggling to see things clearly. Work and seeing my partners are the main parts of my routine. Everything else revolves around that. So I'll be getting ready for work, then at work, then back from work, then either see partners or have a free window.
In my free windows I clean or I read or I'm on the internet. I have a feeling the next two weeks are just going to be that. And it's not distracting enough from the urges.
I tried to talk about it, and I had a meltdown in front of everyone at a party this weekend so everyone knows I'm unwell. But I'm always a bit unwell and I think they all feel bad for me but can't do much to help.
P said they "can't not go home for Xmas". I don't want people to not be with their families! I just wish I could have gone home when my gran was alive.