Hospital isn't always a good place but are there any potential positives about an admission? Sometimes I find increased support helps break through something that could otherwise be very psychologically or physically harmful.
It's okay to advocate for yourself, it's okay to be the one who knows yourself best and is the expert in yourself - if you feel hospital might be helpful, I think that's totally valid and good to recognise that things can't stay this way at home. I do acknowledge though that it's difficult to ask for things when a professional's understanding can't be counted upon.
Do you think your CPN would understand if you said that things have reached breaking point and that you feel an admission would be in your best interests (even if you have conflicting feelings about that)?
Re: sleep, what time do you normally go to bed? Are you managing to get much sleep?
Also re: what you mentioned about the potentially harmful thing, I'm very sorry for not returning to this sooner, but it sounds like it needs checking out.
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