Wow, I'm guessing your mum has some issues, but the way that she has acted is incredibly dysfunctional and I'm surprised you've managed to put up with it for so long!
What do you think would happen if you told her that if she didn't tone down the possessiveness/jealous, you wouldn't make as much of an effort to see her because her behaviour is making your time together not enjoyable? I wonder if something like that might shock her into being a bit more grown up about the situation. Another option would be to suggest that she has some counselling to work through her possessive jealously?
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