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Old 05-12-2014, 06:42 PM   #1
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[Purple_Rain]'s Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Middle Earth
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Homophobic work collegue

Hi Guys,

Sorry, didn't know where else to put this.

I've been in my current job for 8 months, and like all jobs it has it's ups and downs but generally, as jobs and colleague and office atmosphere goes it's fantastic.

Until today. Colleague O was saying how his girlfriend was having friends over whilst he was out elsewhere, the usual banter about how she waited until he was out the way to get hot men over. He bantered back and then said it's OK, the men are a married gay couple. Conversation continues a little bit in a light-hearted way. Colleague O gets slightly more serious and says how stupid it is that get people in a civil partnership can't convert it into a marriage without getting 'divorced' first (I think he is mistaken but that's irrelevant to this post).

Colleague G pipes up and says that gay people should only be allowed civil partnerships and that that's fine because it's the same thing. He then continues and says 'I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman. I don't think gay people should be able to get married'

Before this I liked and respect colleague G. And now I feel awkward and 'dirty' in his presence. He basically said I do not deserve equal rights to everyone else in my company. I think the shock of having such an articulate, intelligent, nice man (or so I thought) suddenly come out with this crap is more the reason that I'm having such a hard time processing this. I guess I feel like my trust has been betrayed? My trust that work was a 'safe' environment for me.

On the flip side maybe I'm over reacting. I am well aware a lot of religious people (Colleague G is Mormon) do not agree in gay marriage. He is entitled to his opinion, even if I think his opinion and his logic behind it are inherently flawed. However I personally am not religious and disagree with the way the religious institution is run; yet I don't bash his religion out of respect for his beliefs. Out of respect for the choice he made to believe. I didn't chose to be gay.

The reason I'm writing this post is I don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone at work yet, besides another colleague who I confided in because I was upset. Should I tell management? it's a small company and would likely make things very awkward. I don't want to get him in trouble. But at the same time I want to feel safe to be myself in my work place and I currently really do not (for reference i'm in the UK so I am protected by law against discrimination. but then again so is he). I kind of want to just pretend he didn't say anything, but for the remainder of today I was anxious whenever he was around and that's not a healthy was to work. But it's irrational, he would never do anything to harm regardless of my sexuality.


Sorry for the wall of text, and thank you even just for reading this.

"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso

'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'

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