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Old 08-11-2014, 01:26 PM   #1
LittleCloud's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Australia
I am currently:
Can't cope anymore

The past few weeks have been hell. My partner quit his job and aside from losing his work has been cheated out of a lot of money. He also has just today received a huge fine for driving his motorbike unregistered as he didn't remember to renew his registration. He is frequently binging and has so little hope. My parents visited today and denied yet more of my medical history and to this day just say I forget to eat. I've had a flu and stomach bug the past few days and it can't help that I'm using laxatives too and restricting and skipping food supplements. I'm scared and all out of hope. My counsellor wants me to write to her about positive goals but all I want to do is lose all this fat that makes me so vulnerable. Yesterday I saw a reflection and scared myself but it's not enough and I know it. I feel like something has broken inside. Bone density scan my dietitian suggested yesterday and the X-ray technician asked why I was there. I get so scared and confused and I just want to hide amongst my bones. Sorry to start another thread but I'm so scared and I can't let this out. I can't let people I know be hurt. I shouldn't even be here. I'm so sorry

So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics

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