[-Ali-]

And that fact scares me so much.
I haven't cut in almost a month, but when I get upset or too anxious, I need pain of some sort. I hate it.

When I'm upset, I have a habit of picking the skin around my finger nails until they bleed, hitting things, digging my fingers into my thigh, scratching my scalp, and pulling my hair out.

I just get so out of control. The worst part is, I have a fear of not having control. I need new outlets. I don't want to harm myself anymore. I want to be free.