I had a slightly better sleep last night, probably after exhausting myself with lack of sleep. I'm still really tired but it felt amazing to get some rest. I'm guessing tonight will be back to a difficult sleep. I'm dreading going to bed.
I didn't manage to communicate how hard things are right now, when I saw my CPN because of course she was focusing on all the practical things I have been doing. I told her about lying on the floor for safety from the floating shapes etc but she didn't ask about it. I think she thought I have been lying on the floor because I'm tired.
There's been lots of stuff online about people being discharged from MH services because of targets and there not really being an 'acceptance' any more that some people might need long term support and that it's ok to have long term support. Everyone is going to leave me.