Dear mum,
I hate to think of you as abusive... but the truth is I don’t remember most of my childhood, and the bits I do remember are painful to think of...
You cannot believe how much I fear coming to visit you... when I am here, at home I feel safe, I start to believe in myself I slowly gain confidence... then I come visit you and in a matter of days end up back at square one. I’m not sure you realise how much damage your words do... physically you no longer hurt me, but emotionally... you cause me to loose ll confidence in myself, to the point whre I do not even believe or trust my own thoughts. I end up fearing to do anything, just in case it’s wrong. Doubt my own thoughts, my own beliefs, neglect any and all wants or needs as I feel I do not deserve anything, ever...
You tell me how fat I look, how stupid I am, how much I am hurting YOU...
The truth is... and this is hard to admit... i think i may hate you...
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