[troubleshooter]

No, being abused by a person of the same sex does not mean you are gay. The only thing that makes a person gay is the desire to be sexual with a person of the same sex.

Quite often male victims of sexual abuse by another male feel extremely emasculated and have a big fear of “being” gay or being seen by others as gay. As I mentioned before there is a huge amount of emasculation and they feel as though they may not be a real man, because of their weak and helpless emotions while during abuse. If you are someone who fits into this category remember that it was not your fault, and that being sexually abused does not make you less of a man, and unless you feel attraction towards other men you are not gay.

Female victims of sexual abuse from a member of the same sex often feel more isolation than other victims, especially when it comes to thoughts of being disbelieved. Sexual abuse and assault when committed by females is extremely underreported, and most people assume abusers are male. Like males, some females who have been abused might also fear being gay, but again if you are not attracted to other women then you are not. Also remember that even though there isn’t as much publicity about this form abuse, there are many other women who have experienced it.

If you do feel the desire to be with the same sex, then you probably would have felt that way had the abuse occurred or not. The statistics are that one in three girls is sexually abused, one in six boys is sexually abused, and one in ten people are gay. With these numbers it is natural that some may fit into both categories. This might cause you some emotional turmoil and trouble. If thoughts of sexual orientation persist in bothering you, you should seek professional help to deal with these feelings. If you felt sexual pleasure during abuse that also does not mean you are gay or enjoyed it. For more questions about that subject please see the FAQ thread about pleasure during abuse.