Theory A. I need to die. Everyone will feel better, including me. 90%
Theory B I might not succeed and even to try would cause suffering 10%
Evidence A: can't get the idea out my head, clues on the TV.
Evidence B: my family love me, I would hurt them. I am not in pain, I am in control, I don't feel unwell, I can't see cameras, there are no signs of thought reading**
But Theory A makes more sense to me. What do I tell my CPN?