Cara definitely needs the pasta support boards, given that she doesn't even own a saucepan to cook pasta in...
Did you manage to email your personal advisor?
I honestly think you've done really well so far with uni, especially given how difficult things have been MH wise. Just because you've had a shaky start it doesn't mean you're not cut out for this, it just means you need a bit of time and support to get on track.
I don't think you're having a Pathetic Pity Party (capital letters) and I think it's completely justified to be finding it difficult. Loads of people without mental health problems have difficulty adapting to uni life and keeping up with the work, so don't be hard on yourself for struggling.
Let me know if there's anything I can do!