I'm so ashamed fat and weak and dirty. I feel terrified and like I'm drowning in it. I just want to tear myself to pieces. Been curled up fighting the violent thoughts but I can't anymore. I feel torn up. I feel I have to physically hold myself together. So confused one minute I'm so alive with raw emotion and pain the next I'm so numb I wonder if this is what being dead feels like. I don't know if I can do this. X
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