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antilop · 23-02-2011, 09:43 PM

Hi all,

I am one of you too, but it is kind of hard to accept that we will be like this the rest of our life. I have read most of the posts here and sensed the same pessimism I always feel. I started and stopped writing several times and then I realised that I did so because if I would write here it would mean that I am one of you and I didn't want to accept that I am such person. I guess we all are trying to hide that we are/were bullied because it is kind of shame that we let other people to walk over us and probably that's why we come here to write. We can't be so open to others we are simply ashamed.
I am not writing my story because all our stories are much like each other and that's why we face same consequences; lack of self-confidence, poor self-image, hating ourselves, etc.

I think if we want to change the way we live, we first must accept the way we are right now and take responsibility for that. Of course it is not our fault that other people choose to bully us but it is our fault that we still let them do it and still feel miserable about ourselves. I don't know all about you but I think all of us are ashamed to accept that actually WE let bullies to humiliate us. Faking the confidence is not the solution, we can fake and fool others but we cannot fool ourselves because inside we all know that we are ashamed to be bullied. And this shame is destroying our self-confidence step-by-step.

I tried to fake, actually I faked a lot and nobody will ever believe that I was and am still bullied. But this is not a solution, it simply accumulates and increases the pressure, which is destroying our lives. I did so for more than 15 years. For these years I have never fully accepted the fact that I am bullied and that some people can humiliate me so easily. And I realise it now that I did so because of shame, because I hate myself for letting those bullies humiliate me and right now as I am writing I feel myself miserable for my pas, for accepting the fact that I let others bully me. But I think this is a reality and if we want to change it we at first have to accept it without this shame and then we will se what we can do.

So instead of faking my advise would be just to repeat to ourselves that we let them bully us and we let them humiliate and what is more important do not get upset and ashamed for that because we gonna change it. No meter how old we are it is never late and it is always worth it. We must confront this situation and change it, there is no other solution and starting point will be to accept ourselves (bullied, humiliated, no confidence) as we are now.

We are ashamed to be bullied, because we let them bully us. We need to realise this and and than shame will go away because in the end I know there is nothing to be ashamed (I don't quite believe it right now but it sounds logical and must be true:).

So wish you all of you good luck, never give up and don't be ashamed that others can bully us. There is nothing to be ashamed our time will come to we will conquer this shame and act appropriately against bullying.

23-02-2011, 09:43 PM	#17
antilop Join Date: Feb 2011	Hi all, I am one of you too, but it is kind of hard to accept that we will be like this the rest of our life. I have read most of the posts here and sensed the same pessimism I always feel. I started and stopped writing several times and then I realised that I did so because if I would write here it would mean that I am one of you and I didn't want to accept that I am such person. I guess we all are trying to hide that we are/were bullied because it is kind of shame that we let other people to walk over us and probably that's why we come here to write. We can't be so open to others we are simply ashamed. I am not writing my story because all our stories are much like each other and that's why we face same consequences; lack of self-confidence, poor self-image, hating ourselves, etc. I think if we want to change the way we live, we first must accept the way we are right now and take responsibility for that. Of course it is not our fault that other people choose to bully us but it is our fault that we still let them do it and still feel miserable about ourselves. I don't know all about you but I think all of us are ashamed to accept that actually WE let bullies to humiliate us. Faking the confidence is not the solution, we can fake and fool others but we cannot fool ourselves because inside we all know that we are ashamed to be bullied. And this shame is destroying our self-confidence step-by-step. I tried to fake, actually I faked a lot and nobody will ever believe that I was and am still bullied. But this is not a solution, it simply accumulates and increases the pressure, which is destroying our lives. I did so for more than 15 years. For these years I have never fully accepted the fact that I am bullied and that some people can humiliate me so easily. And I realise it now that I did so because of shame, because I hate myself for letting those bullies humiliate me and right now as I am writing I feel myself miserable for my pas, for accepting the fact that I let others bully me. But I think this is a reality and if we want to change it we at first have to accept it without this shame and then we will se what we can do. So instead of faking my advise would be just to repeat to ourselves that we let them bully us and we let them humiliate and what is more important do not get upset and ashamed for that because we gonna change it. No meter how old we are it is never late and it is always worth it. We must confront this situation and change it, there is no other solution and starting point will be to accept ourselves (bullied, humiliated, no confidence) as we are now. We are ashamed to be bullied, because we let them bully us. We need to realise this and and than shame will go away because in the end I know there is nothing to be ashamed (I don't quite believe it right now but it sounds logical and must be true:). So wish you all of you good luck, never give up and don't be ashamed that others can bully us. There is nothing to be ashamed our time will come to we will conquer this shame and act appropriately against bullying.
antilop Join Date: Feb 2011