Going through it again. **** my stupid head! Tried to open up to some people but although I help them with all their stuff they don’t really want to listen. I guess when you’re seen as the "helper" it freaks people out to find that your struggling yourself. Not surprising really but it still hurts. Finding myself closing down. What’s the point in telling people when, I dunno, no one can help anyway.
Things are pretty bad in my head. I go to bed every night and pray I don’t wake up or pray I wake as someone totally different.
People say nice things but if you don’t believe them yourself then they mean very little. I don’t mean that to sound ungrateful just truthful.
Considering referring myself again. Terrified of going through it all again. Brain flu. Lonely. So ****ing lonely.