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Old 07-09-2019, 12:09 AM   #13
Margo's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
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Hey Brian. Nice to see you too :)

Thanks Kat. I know what you mean and,yes, I do blame myself 100%. Spoke to my therapist last week who said I don’t ever aim my anger outwardly and always aim it inwardly. She was 100% correct. I get angry about things and just swallow it all in and turn it against myself. I’m always to blame regardless.

Having a terrible day today. One where even breathing is an effort. I managed to walk the dog and walk for 6 miles but it didn’t really help. Well I say it didn’t help but it didn’t make me feel any worse. All of me aches. I just feel like everything from years back is returning again. I have the doctors next week again for a checkup. I don’t want to tell her how bad things are because I was told that the next step will be a meds’ review. I can’t change now as there’s so much going on over the next 7 weeks.

I just wish I could wake up as a totally different person. I loath myself. I really do. Stupid f**king head.

~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P
Bitter Angel is my Mitten
Animad is my Top Trump
All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P

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