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Old 24-03-2017, 11:48 AM   #6
Eir
ignoring the cacophony
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Australia
I am currently:

I don't think I've been this depressed since the first time I was scheduled. I'm having vivid flashes of hurting myself. Of killing myself.
They are a bit like that movie, secret life of Walter Mitty. Or more like that flash of violence Arnold Schwarzenegger had in that movie where he thinks his wife is cheating on him with a used car salesman. Except the violence is directed toward myself.
I don't really wanna live. It's too much. Only reason I'm alive is my brother, living with him is keeping me afloat.
My parents, basically hermits themselves, are worried about my social life. What social life? I work and sleep during my week and parent on my days off. It's all I have energy to do.
I'm done. I don't want to deal with everything anymore. I can't.
I'll msg my counsellor in the morning.



...I try to outsmart him, but somehow he knows,
Wherever I am, that f***ing dog goes... - Dog, Andy Bull

No matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer, or inflict. - Amenadiel, Lucifer

Why is the path unclear,
When we know hope is near
Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we'll walk alone in fear
~~Margo is my penguin 🐧!!! ~~

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