It's not being a b**tch, it's deciding that you have a point of view, and a stance on what's going on, and you're sticking to it. You know he's lying. The only difference is in how to move forward. I would suggest that you need to talk to him to make sure he understands that you're not just being stand offish with him, that your point of view is valid.
If he wants to stay with your family, surely he has to expect to make some sort of contribution, whether it's monetary or simply as support in the role of a father figure. I know he may not want that role, but he can't walk into your family and decide that he is going to ignore the rest of you. This is, of course, talking the very least of what could be expected of him. Ideally, he should be embracing the fact that he has a clutch of young people who may come to look upon him as a significant influence in the family.
Perhaps you could write him a letter, saying that you would like to welcome him, particularly in support of your mother, but his drinking upsets you so much you don't feel able to deal with it. At the moment, you want him gone, which is probably coming across, and he may be even more defensive because of it. If you suggest that he tries again, with the idea of stabilising the family, then the letter won't seem to be an invitation for him to get out. It will hopefully get him to think about what he's doing.
I would try and get some support quickly from other people who've been through it - whilst he isn't being physically abusive, I'm worried he might throw things around, maybe at you, if he's angry with you.
Good luck, well done about going into work - is there no one you might be able to talk to there? You could say that you have some home issues. I don't know how Human Resources work out there, over here they would at least take into account issues at home for any non-attendance etc. and if he stays with you, you may be looking at more sleepless nights.
Wishing you well.
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