Make it stop. Knock me out at least.
I've been thinking a lot about my past overdoses and how the number of pills I took was hugely excessive, I remember I had to be prompted to breathe by a machine in A&E one time and a doctor said he had never heard of anyone taking so many of those meds. Sometimes I didn't go to hospital and just fell asleep at home. I'm guessing on any of those times I maybe could have stopped breathing. It's kind of scary but also...I wish I had died. I wish I could do it now but I can't swallow loads of tablets. It would have been easier if I had never been born. I don't want to be stuck in life, please. Delete me.
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