It may seem like a good idea to dive head first into self destruction to avoid dealing with loneliness and the prospect of an unpleasant future but i think i'll dare to say that at some point you'd look back at your life and wish you had chosen differently.
There are many ways to cope and still allow yourself to be angry or even bitter if you need it. But some of them won't involve things that are as harmful as self harm can be.
I was thinking, here in Denmark, it is sometimes possible to recieve therapy over the internet, like skyping with a therapist of some sort. Just throwing out a thought here because if it is in any way possible maybe that would be a solution to not being able to attend at normal opening hours????
If your friends disappeared, they might have been scared or badly informed. I am not making excuses but i was wondering if you ever thought about trying to get in touch with some of them again??? I know it would be hard and it must feel like they betrayed you but maybe some of the relations can be repaired????
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