Did you mean that for someone else?
No mindset change, unsurprisingly. I'm almost completely sure that I need to kill myself, I think there will always be a small amount of doubt. I keep on going so people think I'm fine. The person on crisis yesterday said that because I had been to the shops I was deciding I was going to live. That's not what it meant to me, I carry on with things to avoid as much boredom, hunger, tiredness, etc as possible because adding those feelings on top of everything else that is going on would be beyond unbearable. Also, it was like she was saying if someone decides to live in the morning they can't change their mind during the day.
I wish I could overdose or self harm to get away from things at least. I could live if I was in an almost constant state of feeling out of it. I am really, really trapped. Talking is not going to help. I want to do this, for me, forget about other people for a change. Life is too painful and I say it over and over again, it is never going away.
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