Kat I can completely relate to almost everything you have said; how frustrating it is being unexplained, how you think of suicide because it is unbearable etc. While I am still leaving the house I really do feel for you because anxiety is such a difficult state to be in and I absolutely applaud your efforts so far (like Sarah my washing stays on the line for days!).
If I can help you in any way please let me know. I don't mind driving over one day to help you with the shopping and we can take it slow. Also I really recommend downloading an app "Stop Panic and Anxiety". There's a recording on there that is helpful in a panic attack or extreme anxiety that just talks to you (no music etc, not meditation), and repeats a lot that things can get better and it can reduce.
For me the suicidal thoughts some in because I just believe it won't get better; that's the anxiety trick. It wants you to believe that and that it is all powerful. But the powerful thing here is actually YOU. You did a great job calling the helpline and it sucks you had to be in hospital so long but I'm glad they're going to keep in touch this weekend.
Be gentle on yourself as best you cab and celebrate every small achievement. Do you see anyone about the anxiety? Do you have a medication like Valium for a circuit breaker when it seems too tough?
Also might be helpful to look into the services ARCVic have, they have a helpline andthey work specifically with anxiety.
Sending you all my love xxx
|