Hey Kat,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering so badly for anxiety ~real tight hugs~ I use to be bound by the same thing for years myself. I wanted to take my life too, because I was so tired of living the way I was..
Always making excuses as to why I could not go to a party or out to dinner with friends/family....So I truly know how you feel snookems. Please don't harm yourself, because your life is way too precious to throw it away..What helped me get through it was a deeper walk with Jesus. Prayer and reading the bible helps so much. I don't know your faith or if you believe in God at all..
I just know that he set me free to go outside without fear, and able to do the things. I was so afraid to do for over 25 years.. If you wish to talk further you can leave me a private message if you.
In the mean time I want to leave you these scriptures to help you..
2 Timothy 1:7
King James Version (KJV)
7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
The Psalms91
Abiding in the Shadow of the Almighty 1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the L
ORD,
He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler,
and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers,
and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth
shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night;
nor for the arrow
that flieth by day;
6 nor for the pestilence
that walketh in darkness;
nor for the destruction
that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side,
and ten thousand at thy right hand;
but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold
and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the L
ORD,
which is my refuge,
even the Most High, thy habitation;
10 there shall no evil befall thee,
neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee,
Mt. 4.6 · Lk. 4.10
to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in
their hands,
lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Mt. 4.6 · Lk. 4.11 13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder:
the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Lk. 10.19 14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him:
I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him:
I
will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him,
and show him my salvation.