Sorry for the late reply. That sounds like such a distressing situation, you were alone in a desperate time. No wonder you are still feeling the effects of it. Sometimes it can help to write down what happened and how you were feeling, read over it, and destroy what you have written as if you are destroying the clarity of the memories and the painful emotions. It might also help for you to phone a family member or friend or even a helpline when you have had a flashback to talk through how you are feeling in the here and now.
Take care and I hope you find a way to cope.
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