Ritzi is being very good at being there for me at the moment, despite not being very well physically herself right now. I also contacted my old therapist and she’s going to try and see me on Wednesday when I’m back in Sligo for my injection as well as my social worker. So I do have support but it’s all very far away and there’s not much they can actually do for me right now. I don’t have a GP at the moment as they all have waiting lists and I’ve been unable to get into one which could get problematic if I ever need to go.
Thing is, I don’t think this will pass. It’s not just the move it’s a combination of everything and when I get overwhelmed and my brain is too full I self harm and it sort of releases all the pressure. I know it’s not an ideal solution but I haven’t found another one just yet. It’s like self harm is a sort of stim for me and has been there for over 20 years (I’m only 30) so it’s hardwired in. I feel settled here and it feels like home and I’m enjoying being close to Ritzi’s family but at the same time it’s very overwhelming as suddenly I’m around people that aren’t necessarily comfortable just yet and I find myself on edge the whole time. I don’t think this is a MH thing I think it’s an autism thing. I haven’t really had any support with the autism so it’s still a learning road for me. I don’t know what the crisis people would be as I’m in Ireland and they don’t have a crisis team or anything like that and I have no idea who to get in touch with otherwise. I’ll just have to wait until the 13th February and see what my new team is like.
Thank you both for your replies. I went out with my dogs and Ritzi today just to get out for a bit and tomorrow I’m going to stay with my friend in Sligo ahead of all my appointments on Wednesday which will be good as I haven’t seen her since I moved. I don’t know. I feel very our of place everywhere at the moment and unsettled.
|