I don't know if it's a possibility but could someone else maybe call your old therapist on your behalf???? If it was someone you know and trust????
If you don't feel comfortable revealing your thoughts and feelings toyour psych just yet then you are not obliged to. Is there a way to adress it without coming clean???? Like hypothetically asking what would be normal procedure if someone felt like this and this??? I realise it might seem a bit risky and iwish there was a way to always be honest without fear of possible consequences. But the system isn't perfect.
Would there be anyone else you could chat to about these thoughts and feelings??? Sometimes it can be a relief to just share the thoughts with someone sitting next to you. I just know from myself that the more you hold back with sharing these things, the greater a hold they'll have over you.