Thank you very much.
I think I could bug my old therapist for a referral, but I dread the though of having to talk to them again, because of their negative opinion of me. I thought about it several times, but I every time I would end up just staring at my phone, not finding the courage to call them.
I think it would be the right thing to tell my psychiatrist about my fears. Although I'm not sure if I will find the courage to do so.
I feel a little better already, just because I was able to be completely honest and another human being listened and didn't judge. Thank you very much, you're a kind soul.