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Old 07-01-2020, 05:22 AM   #34
Join Date: Dec 2019
I am currently:

Yes, my Mum and Dad are going with me.

Drinking water and actually hot tea really help. Even when I don't have much of an appetite having something in my system is better than nothing. Orange juice helps too sometimes. I've been watching a lot more TV and listening to audiobooks, especially comedy, recently. It just helps distract me if I'm trying to listen to a story.

Unfortunately I'm still in my pyjamas and bed-ridden most of the day which is not good because it means I'm not getting exercise and I haven't properly been outside in a week or so. It's mostly fear over my health/preoccupation with my own death that scares me and the news just now feels very...apocalyptic?

I was just looking up stuff on blood tests with my Mum because I was still unsure about my physical health. They took 3 vials off of me and I don't know if that was for different tests or for one big test but they need at least 2 samples of blood in case a test comes back inconclusive. So, three vials should be good to tell if I was really sick right? They all came back healthy and I still wasn't convinced.

I think I'm also going back to the hypochondriac stage I was when I was about 6-8 and I thought every symptom was a sign of sickness or death. I had an earache this morning and have been getting that feeling of bile rising in my throat. I'm also concerned if my heart beats too fast or too slow. Right now I can hardly feel it because I'm relatively relaxed but only finding a faint heartbeat has put me on edge.

I also feel really dizzy but maybe that just started just now through being on my phone in the dark.

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