Argh. I went off to think about this and it has been bugging me all day.
I do NOT think this is munchausens. It is normal to want to be cared for and looked after, especially if you have been ill for a long time. Munchausens is very rare, first of all. Secondly you may have exaggerated your symptoms, which you often have to do to get help, you may not have a reason to be ill, you may not understand what's wrong with you and the doctors may have said they don't know what's wrong with you. That does not mean you have munchausens. It just means you are complicated (as my doctor said). All these things are actually quite normal. If you had munchausens you would be aware of it, Smile, you said you have OCD, it is typical of OCD to make you think you are making things up and make you second guess yourself.
The people here who have talked about these feelings, whom I have seen around, all have long and enduring illnesses that have needed a lot of support from psychiatric services. If you want to diagnose yourself with anything for wanting to be in hospital, call it institutionalisation. Just because you want to be cared for, you want attention, you want to be in hospital does not make you a fake because there are reasons for you to want this. I know someone in real life who I am convinced has munchausens. None of you seem like her, you all seem like people who have suffered a lot and don't understand why you're suffering and to be able to blame anyone, even yourself would be a relief.
Also if there's anyone here who hasn't been in and out of psychiatric services/hospitals etc, it's still normal to want this careand attention. Because you know you're unhappy and you want desperately for someone to acknowledge this and to help you.
Of course, this might not be relevant to you, and you might all think I'm speaking a load of bullshit. But those were from my own experience and from seeing other people in hospital.
Smile, I relate so much to what you have said, do you want to talk on msn at all? Me and a lot of other people on the ward I was in looked up our therapists on the internet etc. However, I used to and still do fantasize about something happening and my therapist saving me. I am terrible about therapists leaving, to the point that I've been suicidal (it sound dumb I know). It takes a very long time for some people to get better. I was in therapy and in hospital for 2-3 years before I saw any change. I still feel I need regular therapy, medication etc (and so do my doctors, I might add). And your feelings are likely to be very valid, if you feel you need therapy, you probably still do, but it's important to work out how much and not to let being ill take oer your life, as I did. With the diagnoses thing, they are bloody horrid when nothing seems to fit. Also I felt a lot of shame when I was diagnosed with OCD and Depression because they seemed like things I should be able to control.
Alyssa, I think you are very brave for saying that and I know a lto of people feel that way even if they don't admit it. I think everyone wants attention really, so what? Not a big deal. People seek attention in different ways, through being a movie star, getting goodgrades, being a thug, etc.
Also I think that when you have been in hospital some time, know you are not likely to get better, you can, as a good friend of mine has said, decide that if you are ill you will be as ill as you can be. If you are doomed to a life of psychiatric problems you may as well excel at it.
Sarika, getting better was terrifying for me too, any time I made progress I Would end up cutting badly or trying to kill myself. It's really good you've realised this is a problem, and yes it is really difficult to talk about in therapy, I have been lucky enough to have had one psych I was able to talk to about. However because you are addicted ddes not make you a fake, it might be another problem to tackle, but you can do it.
I'm sorry I know I'm coming across as an over conceited, know it all, snob etc, but these are my personal opinions. I could be completely wrong, I jsut thought I'd say them. I'm sorry if I've really pissed anyone off.
Maybe we couldmake a thread about coping with this in Moving Forward, a support thread like the Sofa threads and such, I dunno, I just really relate to all of you who are feeling this way and I think maybe we could help/support each other more.
Last edited by Psychedelic Doodle Pop : 30-12-2007 at 08:27 PM.
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