Thank you for the replies, sorry I haven't replied sooner.
I took it off my playlist like you said and then I seek it on Spotify. Just feel like I need to desensitise myself by listening to it. Obviously not working. Thank you for the kind words.
Hey, she knows she's saying I'm either having psychosis from my pd, schizoaffective or PTSD, something like that everyone's thinking that anyway or a mixture of all.
I'd rather not see my psych that frequently tbh.
My roommate is a bloke my age, same interests and everything, such a nice chap and we got drunk and started texting eachother from out rooms. I was ready to give up all I've got with my gf just for sex but I stopped the convo, and talked to my love and made plans to see her next week. I can't believe I actually thought of throwing the relationship all away for sex, i thought up all these scenarios that ended up with me fucking him and then lying to her.
(me) = w.h.o.r.e.
I then binged til I threw it up and then i had pins and needles in my legs which of course reminded me of that horrid night when I couldn't walk.
I hate myself so much. But, who doesn't these days.