My family is breaking down
I have been on and off here for quite a while over the past couple of years, with problems with self-harm and depression, but right now there is a another load of problems going on in my life.
MY 18 year old brother is tearing my family apart. He is stealing from my parents (mum and stepdad), lazing around the house and generally just being destructive. He is a compulsive liar and he has lied to our family a lot about things that have gone missing (and they have been found out to have been taken by him). He's done things including: stealing my mum's credit card, her bus pass, and drinking a bottle of whisky of my stepdad's that was a gift to him. It has caused my mum to have lots of problems (stress, high blood pressure etc) and it is really taking its toll on the family.
Now I know that he is going through a lot of problems. He's tried to commit suicide a few times, but there is just no excuse for his behaviour. I know a mot of people who are going through a lot of things (me included, no need for that now...)
The last straw for my mum has come this week, where her bag has gone missing (containing money, her cards, her drivers licence and her passport). Although there is no other explanation than that he has took it (there is evidence)... he is still lying and saying that it isn't him. This has made my mum kick him out of the house and she no longer wants anything to do with him.
I live with my boyfriend, rather than my parents, so I have offered for him to come and live with us provided that he pay some rent and contribute to the house. He said no, he would rather couch surf and stay in hostels.
He has even been to talk to the housing trust, where he has told them that he has nowhere to live, rather than stay with me. He wants to live rent free, with everyone feeling sorry for him and taking pity on him. That's his game.
It's making me so sad and so angry. My family have given everything to him that he has needed and he has just thrown it back in our faces. It's got to me so much today that I have lashed out at my boyfriend. I've also been crying a lot, because I just don't know what to do.
I just don't know what to do. It is making my mum ill, my stepdad angry, my sister scared and sad, and everyone around him miserable and depressed. He's toxic.
More than anything, I want to know what I can do for my mum because I don't want to see her like this anymore. She's miserable and sick because of his lies and his behaviour, after all she has done for him.
Has anyone has a family break down when everyone has been an adult (rather than being in a breakup where there is custody of children to think about etc)? Should I try to get my brother to stay with me, or should I just leave him to rot and realise what the world is really like? What can I do about my mum to make her happier? I want to try to fix it.
I know this is long, and thankyou to anyone who has got this far. Any advice would be amazing.