Thanks for your reply =]
A mixture of things helped me last time, it was mainly timing of some good things happening around the same time which made it easier for me to stop and keep looking forward, rather than backward. My family found out which was excruciatingly embarrassing and painful for everyone. I acknowledged I was very low and tried to open up about my feelings. Then a year of so after I'd stopped I met a guy (who I later married) who accepted my past and though he doesn't understand it, he is loving and supportive. I really don't think I can talk to anyone in my life about this, it would scare them and they wouldn't understand. They might question my ability to look after my child and that would be awful. In addition to them not understanding, I would also then not be able to SI if I wanted to because they'd be looking out for it the whole time and I'd feel even more guilty if they knew I had done it. I'm not saying I'm going to, but knowing I have the freedom to do it if I want to helps me. I hope that makes sense.
You're words are helpful, in particular the fact the feelings may pass and that they are feelings I don't have to act on gives me some control back again. Thank you so much for listening, I really appreciate it.
Well done on your nine years free. Nine years is a long time.
|