I'm sorry things are so hard & that the future is really uncertain for you.
It sounds like you're feeling pretty scared & isolated at the moment. Might it be possible to mention to your friends that you've been feeling lonely & ask for their support whilst things are hard? It seems to be quite quiet here these days & if you're worried about not being able to seek out the support here/online in the future, it might be good to try to build some more support for yourself whilst you still have the online stuff too. It might not work in your circumstance, but it was just a thought.
Sorry I can't be more helpful, but you aren't alone & I read this & am sending hugs your way.
Take care. x
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