It does sound like you need some respite from everything that's going on for you. I'm not sure about how healthcare works in your area so I don't know about your insurance etc, I hope someone else who does know can reply. Would a few days in hospital badly affect your college work? How long is it until your winter break? I understand how hard it must be to make this decision since you've said if you can wait until your break then how do you know if you need to be in hospital. I'm also not sure about the criteria for admission in your area and what they would do for you in hospital. I sometimes have planned admissions, is that something you could discuss if you think you can be relatively safe until it's a more suitable time for you to go into hospital? If you are in serious danger of course you shouldn't wait and should get some advice from a professional asap.
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