Had massive fever yesterday. Still struggling physically and mh. Also despite how ill I was last night mum wouldn’t come round cos it would stress my dad. It feels like (this is the selfish part of me) everyone comes first to my mum except me. I can’t prosecute my abuser because ‘it would destroy the family’ o can’t open up properly anyone as it would destroy grandma. Can’t ask mum for help as dad would get stressed. I just selfishly which for Once as her daughter I could come first. But that makes me evil so... ah well?
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