That sounds like a really stressful situation to be in job-wise. Is there a manager or someone that you can speak to at your day job about some of the workplace dramas or the issues people are having with you and you wife working in the same office, to see if any of those difficulties can be reduced?
Getting a psychologist appointment sounds like it would be really worthwhile. Can you try to ring this week to get the ball rolling with getting an appointment? It sounds like it would be really helpful to have somewhere that you can try to just talk openly about what's going on for you.
What do you think would be helpful for you with support from your wife? It is difficult to know how to help sometimes, but would it be worth seeing if you can think of some things that she could do to help when you're struggling and pushing her away?
Finally, please remember that you are not a failure. Take care.